oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
