I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
