And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
