It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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