She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
