she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
