I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she smelled like a LAN party
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
