she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
