I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
