i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
