i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In America we eat man semen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
