i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
