I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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