Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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