I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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