While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
