I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
