hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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