You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
