that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
