we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
