Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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