Life is so much better after having sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
