you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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