forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
