Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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