Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
