C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
