If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think your dad took our porno
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
is it fun? or sober?
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