It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Randomize
