She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
