Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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