Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
