watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
