Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
