Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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