East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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