I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
