Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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