i would punch a child for taco bell
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
