"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Everything about him screamed your future.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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