Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I need a beard to bite.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
