OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
