is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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