Where did you get a picture of my penis
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
