I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
