new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
