he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
