sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
