And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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