Rock
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Fuck
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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