I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i think i just lost a toe
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
